i died a little inside today

i am a big uber huge SHINee fan. i think they are the most talented and amazing bunch of young men in south korea, and i dream of becoming friends with them one day (lame i know). to be able to do what they truly like at such a young age (one of them is younger than me) and work so hard to stand at where they are now, they do inspire me. they are not just five pretty faces to stare at. and they are not GAY. (one more time i hear that G word i'm going to strangle someone)

they are the reason why i entered K-Pop.

i am a stalker fan. i know that. i watched them grow from this -

to this

and then this

and now this

i can even recite all their birthdates, height and hobbies and have watched every single variety show/radio programme they appear on.

never in my life did anything or anyone (even anime!) made me refresh their homepage all night waiting for new releases, MV teasers or new photo galleries

never in my life had i saved thousands of photos of 5 real living breathing boys. all i had was anime and manga.

and i love this guy. he can sing. he's funny. and he's just interesting. and hot.

and it's very heart-breaking painful to watch disheartening when you wake up, and instead of a photo like the above, twitter, facebook and allkpop were flooded with these photos.

it's hard to ignore.

if you are not familiar with the Korean Pop scene, there are two taboo things that an idol can never disclose - 1) whether their single or in a relationship and 2) whether they are wearing insoles or not.
however, this punk rebellious teen ignorant boy heart breaker boy here just broke all laws.

so i died a little inside today.